Sunday, January 10, 2010

A New Vision

Last week I went through the process of sorting through a wide collection of clipped words and images that I saved last summer when I decided to de-clutter my closet by getting rid of several years worth of magazines. I spent weeks thumbing through a three foot pile of magazines; reading and cutting and imagining what I could do with them.

More than ten years ago I was working in a book geared towards victims of molestation and it suggested a collage project. I hadn't a clue as to the impact doing such a project would have on me. It turned out to be one of the most therapeutic things I have ever done! When I was done I felt a huge weight lifting off of my shoulders.

I was recently separated from my first husband and I used a print he'd given me as the background for my collage. To move forward I needed to transform my perspective of the past. In the middle of the collage is Time. I was disappointed in myself for not healing as quickly as I wanted to. I felt as though I had not made much progress over the years. I was pessimistic, negative, depressed, hopeless, angry and sometimes suicidal. I purchased a large glue stick and began pasting my words--negative words, feelings and perceptions that needed to be left with the past and positive perceptions, feelings and words that I wanted to be a part of my future. I unconsciously placed Time between them. I needed to give myself permission to heal, permission to take the time to heal, patience and understanding. I'd had an abusive and traumatic childhood. Time was something I had to learn to give myself.

Back to the future...er, the present.

Ever since I watched The Secret I have wanted to make a vision board. The first collage I did fifteen years ago was very therapeutic. That being the case, I decided that a vision board would have a similar effect on me. With a nudge from an e-friend, I got to work choosing the words and graphics that represented what I wanted in my life during 2010...and beyond. Large, small and tiny pieces of paper piled up three layers deep atop my 22" x 28" purple poster board. I spent another day narrowing them down into categories and figuring out what would fit on the board and best described my Vision.

Having grown up in an UN-fun house and having an UN-fun childhood the basic concept for this year is to have FUN! I'm wound up pretty tight most of the time and it's time for me to loosen up, have some fun and learn how to enjoy myself; my family, my writing, my crafts and my photography.

I am giving myself this first month of 2010 to set my goals on paper, organize my workspace and purge unnecessary clutter. I used to make resolutions, but I decided to give that up. Rarely do I keep them, and the implication is that there is something wrong with me. Sure, I make wrong choices, but that doesn't mean there is something wrong with me. I have chosen to make goals and wishes instead of resolutions. The word itself implies that there is something I must resolve; denying acceptance for what is. All I have to do to quit a bad habit is choose not to do it. All I have to do to create a good habit is to choose to do it. That's true for everyone.

On that note, another one of my goals for this year is to choose more sleep. So, that's what I'm off to do now.

To view photos of both collages and read more about them please visit: Kreative Notions: A New Vision. And, if you're on Facebook, why not become a FAN of Kreative Notions!

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