Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Life Support

I love technology. I love, love, love technology....except when it rebels, throws itself on the floor and refuses to do as I ask it to do. I threaten it with time-outs but it knows I'm bluffing. It knows that I can't shut it down. While I don't speak geek I'm the resident Geek Support person. My name is Syda and I'm  a PC.

...and sometimes wish I were a Mac.

I just spent the past day and a half trying to get my disc drive working. I've been all over the internet, making registry changes, downloading, scanning, installing, uninstalling, rebooting...and rebooting. iTunes kept popping up with a ridiculous warning message about not finding a required driver for importing and burning; but wouldn't tell me what driver. Apparently it's an incompatibility issue with Vista. I was at the end of the rope and almost in tears. I'd just purchased Stampin' Up! digital software and I was so looking forward to playing around with it, but my rebellious, three-and-a-half-year-old computer wouldn't let me! It wanted to be a CD-ROM and I had a DVD.

...then I tied some knots in the rope.

I considered replacing my tower and while I could do that, life has other priorities right now. I resolved myself to just trading computers with my daughter. She has a hand-me-down-laptop with a perfectly operational disc drive and I have a relatively new netbook I use for writing. My new software installed on the laptop without a hitch...then I found it. The last tech website I visited suggested updating GEAR. What did I have to lose? I had already wasted my entire day. I didn't get a single speck of cleaning done, no laundry, no creative play...nothing. This impresses my husband..."one thing about you; you're persistent and you don't give up."

Lucky for him. :)

Persistent. Yes, you can call me persistent. You can also call me obsessive-compulsive, stubborn and bull-headed. Where is the line? When does persistence become obsessive? Where is the line between not letting go and holding on? How do we know when we have crossed it? Have you ever noticed how much energy it takes to hold on to something or someone that does not want to be held? How long should I have worked on my computer before resigning to do something else? Was it, perhaps, letting go and releasing my attachment to this problem that allowed the answer to present itself?

I think so.

There is incredible power in the act of releasing. When you allow yourself to release your attachments--the baggage you carry around with you and resentments you chew on in your sleep--you gift yourself the freedom to choose happiness and peace. It is divine weight loss.

The term letting go can imply losing; giving up, flunking out or dropping the ball. I prefer releasing. Releasing implies giving. When you release something you are giving it to the Universe; contributing to the flow of positive energy and creating freedom, life, love and forgiveness. When you release the walls that you believe to be protecting you they fall down so you don't have to expend valuable energy tearing them down.

Today I released my attachment to my netbook (I sooo didn't want to trade it for a laptop). Tomorrow I am releasing my attachment to my to-do list....and now I am releasing my inner critic and publishing this blog post.

joY & gratitude~

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