Monday, December 20, 2010

#reverb – Day 19 – Healing

“December 19 – Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?”  (Author: Leonie Allan)

Healed? Is it possible to BE healed?  Here? Now? In the midst of this human experience?  Healing, in my humble opinion, is a process. I’ve been healing my entire life. I’m still healing. I do not anticipate being done with the process until I’m done having this human experience.

While I have been able to let go of the power I’ve given certain experiences in my life, those experiences still exist within my memory. Am I healed of any of them? I’m not sure. However, I have managed to move forward and begin to define my life and live it in light instead of darkness.  It’s a  day-by-day, week-by-week, moment-by-moment, drip-by-drip process.  There are “Ah-ha!” moments that lead me to new ways of thinking and perceiving my experiences and nudge me into a skipping, forward motion….but healed?

No matter how far I think I have come, and no matter how much I think I’ve let go and gotten over something….there are still moments that occur that blast me back to where I have journeyed from and leave me feeling angry and resentful and at the door of a why-me-pity-party begging for my attendance.

On a not-so-good day I’ve learned to recognize that it’s merely a ticking time bomb that has blasted me into the past; a reminder that there is more work to be done, more letting go to do, more transgressions to forgive….and once I get the message I can choose to not stay there.

On a good day I can acknowledge that it is these painful, traumatic experiences that have made me who I am, brought me to the people who nourish me and prove that I am a strong, resilient being capable of inspiring others and living a life of value and worth. On a good day I am not a survivor or victim….I’m just me and being me is good.

Over the course of the coming year I merely want to continue my journey from a place of strength, resilience, love, joy, creativity, passion, hope, forgiveness, gratitude, acceptance, and authenticity.

In 2011 I just want to be me….because healed or not, being me is good.

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